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Archive for May, 2007

Brain and sleep

Something abnormal has been happening lately – I have started to have nightmares. I haven’t had nightmares in years. I mean the kind that make your heart and breathing quicken and you awaken with a sense of dread in the middle of the night.

Could this be good or bad? It might be that my brain is using less time to heal throughout the night and now it can get back to ‘regularly scheduled programming’ (dreaming). I sure wish it would choose better dreams.

Last night alone I woke up twice. The first was from a former coworker (Matthew for those that care) who came back to town and I somehow found out that he had hurt someone (possibly killed) and he was after me since I knew. The second was that I was a young girl dating in the 1950’s. I was dating this sweet, innocent boy (think Beaver Cleaver) and his father decided to ‘have a talk’ with me. He tied a chain around my thigh and wrapped it around the table so that I couldn’t leave. He insisted that his son and I were having sex (we certainly were not). Then he stood up and started to unbuckle his belt “since I already had the experience”. I unwrapped the chain from the table and started to run screaming.

Creative, yes – horrifying also. How do I know how much sleep my brain still needs? I know that I am cutting into sleep time as it is by waking earlier to go to work, this is making it worse.

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Sunday was my official ‘stroke-aversary’. My stroke hit on Sunday, Nov 13, 2005. I slept in on my stroke-aversary and it was eerily close to the day of my stroke since it hit while I napped.

It is still scary for me to remember it. Far scarier than when it actually occurred as odd as that sounds.

Nowadays, I feel as though I am more hopeful than hopeless which is a great turnaround for me. I quit going to physical therapy because 1) I have plateaued and 2) I only have 40 visits/year as it is and I need to conserve for when actual improvement is happening.

I cross my fingers that my progress continues.

Be well.

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